When I grow up

Since I have started this new chapter in my life as an English major, I have noticed I do not have as much time as I used to. This is a good thing because I do not have time for "a thousand indecision's." I do not focus quite so much on the more trivial aspects of my life, but see the greater whole. My time is better spent and more is accomplished. I feel like one of the most important things that an undergraduate degree does for a person is to teach them to think. It is a process of maturity and information collecting. College helps a person to categorize information and process it in an affective way. It is a way to prove to yourself and others that you can stand up to a challenge. On the downside of time, I do not have as much ability to work on more creative processes that I enjoy, such as poetry. However, I have noticed that when I get those little snippets of time, I have more in my storehouse of knowledge to be able to effectively express myself. I think the quality of my production stands out more than the quantity. It is very exciting to feel this happening. I find that when I sit down to read something I am able to take a more critical viewpoint. I have learned to challenge ideas that are presented weighing them out to safeguard truth. My education has enabled me to be a better observer and partaker of this life. I do not feel like I am as prone to fall prey to fallacy. I feel confident in my ability to delve into a piece of Literature, and to find the meaning. I also know better how to research and find help when I am uncertain. Finally, college has been an important lesson in time management. I have learned to meet deadlines and not put work off to the last minute.

I feel like the printed word has power. It is a way to reach out to, and communicate to people in a way other media cannot. I would like to be a part of this form of communication as a career. I am in a position in my life that a part-time freelance writing job would be just what I am looking for. The reading, writing, time-management and research skills I have gained will give me an edge in this type of career. I am also interested in continuing my education by graduate school. Journalism, English or possibly education highlight my interests. I am glad my children see me taking education seriously and hope this will help them in their educational experience as well. It is fun to all sit down to do our homework together. 

Good writing is a way to connect the human race. It is amazing to find so many of the concerns of people living thousands of years ago are still relevant today. My connection with literature helps me to understand other people better as well as myself. This type of Historical Criticism that considers race, place and time in a literary work is fascinating to me. Looking at a piece of writing as shaped by a time and place is helpful for interpretation. I find reading good writing helps shape my writing, improving style and form. I feel confident that whatever options present themselves to me, I will be better able to meet them with education and experience.

The title of Elizabeth Bishop's book of poems, Geography III, reflects her success of sharing her personal experience in a universal way. Geography, by definition is to describe or write about the earth by way of lands, features, inhabitants and phenomena. Geography does not just describe where objects are but how they came to be. Bishop writes about the earth by taking notice of one small life that makes up a part of the earth. It may seem insignificant but it is a part of the whole. Many of Bishop's poems share a childhood experience which formed her life later on. Her poem, In the Waiting Room, discusses her knowledge of different people all over and their similarities, and how she could be anyone-yet she is herself. Crusoe in England is reflective of how Bishop felt in returning to America, and how the world around us affects who we are. In Poem she expresses that art is the process of noticing the world around you and paying tribute to it. Who we become as adults is dependent on the place we live, the people we are exposed to and the experiences we have. These are all a part of geography. Geography is something that people are first exposed to as children in elementary school. This is important to Bishop because she wants to relay childhood experiences in her poems. Geography is also important because it names our individual place in the world. It is a physical description of our location and kind of surface that shapes us. Our geography is unique to us! In regards to the second part of the title, III, it is more difficult to say why that is significant. The epigraph quotations are for lesson six and ten from First Lessons... so I do not see anything significant  that fits with that. Three is supposed to be a perfect number. There are 3 persons in the trinity and Christ rose in 3 days.It is the number that gets it right, third time is a charm. Three is an uneven number as well which may signify that life does not always fit into a perfect form. Three can also represent something real or entire.

I have enjoyed reading Elizabeth Bishop. I admire her strength in her ability to express highly emotional material in a restrained way. Her experiences become a venue for people to relate their own lives to what she is saying. It takes the focus off her and allows it to be more universal. In One Art her subject is losing. I think it speaks to everyone who has experienced the feeling of loss in a relationship. It allows the reader to inject their own experience of what the work is describing. 

The strength of the women in the play comes from their absence. It is a powerful statement how women can have that much influence without being a part of the action. The men in the play are concerned with male power. They frequently refer to their male organs as a source of their strength. Women are portrayed as weak by the men. They are seen as easy to scam and it is a sign of weakness in the work place to spend time with the family. Women are at home making food for the men who are out working hard all day. Levene says "I talked to your wife..." frequently in his selling tactics. Women are viewed in misogynistic terms as a threat to male power. They get in the way of this world of men. This view is justified because the women do stand in the way of the men getting what they want. Women in the play are a threat to male power. The men try to scam and deceive the women, but in the end it is a woman who scams and deceives Levene. She makes him believe that she has the ability to buy the property he is selling.  The store-bought crumb cake is symbolic of Harriet and her deception. She is not at home doing what the men expect her to be doing (cooking and cleaning). The cake makes her seem like a sweet sincere woman when indeed she is not, it is store bought-not the real thing,  as she is not genuine herself. The play ends with Levene loosing his deal to a woman, and Roma's deal being ruined by a woman (Lingk's wife). Lingk's wife is able to put a stop to the deal without being present. I think the women in the play are shown to have an underlying strength that is the determining factor. The men may think it is up to them to make the sale, but it is dependent on the women. While these woman defeat the plans of men, it is a woman who is a motivating factor in the form of Levene's daughter who is in the hospital. It is her presence in his life that pushes him to work hard, even if that work is not honest. Women wield power in this male dominated play to help, to hurt and even deceive. 

Reflections on King Lear

In the beginning of Shakespeare's King Lear, the king is portrayed as wanting both total control and total dependency (Kahn). He wants his daughters to say what he wants to hear about their love for him. When he does not get what he wants he goes into a rage that is played by some actors as jumping up and down on the table in a very childlike posture. The king is very used to getting what he wants, and to be told what he wants to hear. Later on, he regrets this desire by claiming, "They flattered me like a dog...They told me I was everything. Tis a lie"(4.6.96,104). As Lear's understanding grows he is filled with regret for his need to be flattered. This, after all is what began the whole problem; Lear wanting Cordelia to express her love for him the way he wanted to hear it. Lear was getting old, and he was ready to enter his second childhood. He gave away the responsibility of the kingdom, and he had hopes that Cordelia would be a nurse to him in his old age. She would act like a mother figure to him. The sisters, Regan and Goneril represent a masculinity, and absence of the mother figure in the play. They are power hungry, ambitious and self-seeking. A mother figure is kind, forgiving and other-serving. It is also interesting that though Regan and Goneril both were already in a married state, yet the two women were not mother's themselves. It is as if they did not have the capacity for motherhood. Perhaps Lear is able to see in his two daughters what his own life has been about. As he is forced to step out of his kingly robe he is able to see many of the faults that came with his patriarchy rise in Goneril and Regan. He wishes things were right between himself and Cordelia, and it is shame, not pride that forbids their re-uniting. When they are united, and about to be taken to prison, Lear has been brought to a position of forgiveness and he tells Cordelia, "let's away to prison. We two will sing like birds i'th' cage...I'll kneel down and ask of thee forgiveness...we'll live, and pray, and sing...and laugh at gilded butterflies"(5.3.8-13). In order for Lear to understand his human dependency, and therefore the need for forgiveness both of himself and Cordelia, he first had to go through a process of purification which was given to him by mother nature. In the storm, Lear realized there was something greater than himself. He could not command the thunder and lightning. The image of Lear prancing about covered in wild plants shows his connection with the lessons of mother nature, "crowned with rank fumiter and furrow weeds, with hardocks, hemlock, nettles, cuckooflowers, Darnel, and all the idle weeds that grow"(4.4.3-5). It is through these feminine forces-the power of nature and Cordelia's real love- that the king begins to open to his emotional side and release his pain. He found the capacity for feeling and forgiveness. The beauty of the lips that match the action give rise to true power.

Politics and sentiment do not mix if a person wants to be in a position where they do not have to identify with other people. According to the interview Steven Cobert conducts with Marjane Satrapi, the very purpose of Persepolis is for people to see the humanity of the Iranians. They have a sense of humor, they have families, they struggle to find their identity and they also do not always support the actions of their government. When the Iraqis first bommbed Iran, Marji responds to her parents as they read the paper "We have to bomb Baghdad." Her mother tells her to "Take your feet off the table, it's impolite"(82). This passage struck me because parents teach their children to share toys and play nicely with others. A code of conduct for decency toward our fellow man is taught to our children. Even during this discourse between mother and daughter the reader feels the irony of the lesson for isn't it much more impolite to drop a bomb on a persons home than to put a foot on the table?  Satrapi realizes that change begins in how people relate to one another on a small scale. These grass roots efforts spread and can work themselves into the mainstream. The next part of the discourse is about Marji feeling her dad is a defeatest because he does not take more action. The two celebrate together however when Iran begins to bomb Saddam back. This makes Marji feel like her father loved his country. There is a deeply rooted struggle in humanity for the need to be "right," to feel justice and the necessity for boundaries so what is "mine" is mine. If someone does something to you, you want to get them back! It is often called pride. This is where politics turns into patriotism which is a sentimental thing. It is very difficult to separate politics and sentiment because they feed off of each other. Many of the political agendas stem from emotional arguments and background. Satrapi then introduces the reader to Pardisse who lost her dad in the fight. Pardisse says, "I wish he [her father] were alive and in jail rather than dead and a hero"(86). The realities of politics are again reduced to a family. The reader is able to see how actual people are affected by policy. 

In the film, when Marji hits bottom she returns to her family; the place she identifies with. Marji's grandmother who always smells good because she puts flowers under her clothes has a very influential role on her. Marjane goes through a coming of age situation where she tries to deny who she is to the world around her. She comes to realize it is not by a denial of who you are that you will be of influence, but by accepting yourself and helping others to see the truth about that which they may fear that will bring about change. I think the woman in Marji's life helped her see this truth. As an adult she says she spends most of her time defending groups from other groups that are in disagreement; such as defending Iran to Americans and Americans to the French. It is by mixing politics and sentiment that people will think twice before going to war with a government that is actually a city-town-neighborhood and family. 

The Moviegoer

In Walter Percy's novel The Moviegoer, John Bickerson Bolling is on a search. He describes this search as something very simple, "so simple it is easily overlooked" and that simplicity is both the great question and answer (13). To not be involved in a search is to "is to be in despair"(13). The search consists of 3 elements: certification,  malaise and"everydayness." 

Certification involves a place which is just a place until some sort of meaning can be ascribed to it. Binx is very interested in creating meaning. When he goes to a place such as a movie, he likes to talk to the owner and strike up a relationship with the ticket tender. If he does not know anything about the people or place than he runs the risk of just being a person who is "Somewhere and not Anywhere"(63). At a movie he could be lost and cut off in "danger of slipping clean out of space and time" if a connection was not made.  Movie going creates for Binx a discovery of "place and time" and it tastes like okra (75)! Binx expresses the need for certification when his Uncle Jules asks him to go to Chicago. Binx feels a strange spirit-presence in new places which he later describes as the "genie-soul." A city has a feeling associated with it and it is easy to get lost in a new place that is not certified, where a person has to deal with new people each shooting out his own personal ray. Binx wonders how he can "deal with five million personal rays?"(99). Certification is the method Binx uses to feel a part of a place.   

Certification is a result of the necessity felt by Binx to not slip into what Binx term "malaise." Binx describes malaise as "the pain of loss" which is where a person feels strangely removed from life (120). The malaise is a part of the phenomenon of  what goes up must come down for when, "one courts great happiness, one also risks malaise"(121). To come out of the malaise of life one must do something that is shockingly human. Kate says wounded men are real. After the accident with her fiancee Kate asks Binxs, "Have you noticed that only in time of illness or disaster or death are people real? I remember at the time of the wreck-people were so kind and helpful and solid"(81). People's true colors shine when they are forced out of what is comfortable to them. It is rare to find too great of a sinner in a malaisian's life. It is a high moment to be able to sin like a human (200)! He sees hatred as one of the few signs of human life in the world (100). Binx tries to find people living deliberately who take time to look around them and see the life. The small talk and bland lives people live remind Binx of death, he claims "We part laughing and dead"(102).  

Binx has an understanding of the everyday as something that takes the wonder out of life. People sink into this everyday that is a part of the malaise. Binx notes this particularly in religion and relationships. The wonder is taken out of the language of religion where the words seem to be worn out (162). When people say what they believe on the radio show they all pretty much sound like peas in a pod (109). People sink into the everydayness of religion and forget to be a seeker of truth. It just becomes something they are called. This happens in relationships as well. Binx says your wife can easily become invisible to you since she is so familiar (121). Binx's mother manages the shocks of life through the ordinary. It is a means of making the bad things not so bad by sacrificing the elation of the good things "she wanted everything colloquial and easy, even God"(142). Sometimes the only thing to break the everydayness is disaster and the dung beetle. 

In the end of the novel, Binx does not find a distinct answer for the search because there is not an answer, it is something to be carried with a person to continue discovery. Though Binx tries to keep himself above the everyday, he realizes part of the answer lies in the simplicity of the everyday. Kate chides Binx that it could be possible that "you are overlooking something, the most obvious thing of all"(83). It is the connections made that secure our place in the universe. It is not enough to simply exist but to move into the realm of another person's existence to find place. Binx claims there is only "one thing he can do: listen to people, see how they stick themselves into the world, hand them along a ways in their dark journey and be handed along, and for good and selfish reasons"(233). It is not found in doing one great thing for humanity and then calling it done or even in searching for the one great thing, but living in the everyday and giving it a "right to exist"(7).